Want

Do you ever want something, only to find out it is not what you though it was? That can be a really painful awakening. I am often unsure about want. Is it a yearning for something that is actually going to be valuable for me? Is it somethings that will bring long term joy, or short term pleasure?

I have recently lost two opportunities that I really wanted. Both were jobs working in the outdoor recreation industry that I thought would be good fits for me. The first opportunity was lost because the job was not offered to me. The second was much more painful. It was a position at an organization I really valued and cared about. This opportunity I had to turn down. It was a faith based organization, and I do not subscribe to their particular paradigms of the world. As a result I had to turn down the position because of scrutiny over my own way of living. It is painful to keep hitting roadblocks, painful to feel rejected, and painful to feel unaccepted.

I turn to this song today to remind me of the things I truly want in life: the way I want to live, the way I want to speak, share, and love. Remember, no matter your faults, short-comings, pains, baggage, fear, past, or present—you are loved, wanted, and cared for.

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